Friendships

True, lasting friendships are forged by time and/or extraordinary circumstances that draw people, whether two or 10, together within a common bond toward a collective goal. Occasionally, some or all of these people may be so invested in each other that they will form an abiding, intimate attachment that will last years, or even an entire lifetime.

People fortunate enough to find themselves engaged in something so rich stand back-to-back, wielding shield and sword against whatever may assail one or both with faith their comrade will defend their own back, and with the confidence they are able to fend off any offense, with forgiveness should one falter and allow a successful blow to be struck.

Trust of this level comes from from time and experience with one another. As you spend time together and endure travails and victories together, you learn the strength and weakneses of your companion. Confidence in one another is formed when one doesn't take advantage of the weakness of the other, but rather uses his own strengths to bolster his friend during such times of infirmity of body or spirit. The conviction that your friend will maintain his integrity comes from learning that he can not only keep his mouth shut about affairs of his friend's failings, but will use every opportunity to bolster and buttress his friends reputation.

Other friendships, dare I say most , don't run so deep. They call themselves friends because they spend time together engaging in common interests, working together at the same job, encountering each other frequeltly at one place or another, or simply being neighbors or living in close proximity to one another. They are cordial and say, "Hello". One, we'll call him 'Peter', may ask the, 'Jason', other how things are going, but Jason will say "Find, good. How about you?". This for two reasons. Number one, the Peter isn't truly interested in the life of Jason, and Jason returned the question, but received the same simple answer. Number two, the Jason and Peter knows the other isn't truly interested and didn't want to take the time or energy to talk about his life. Yet they are free to call upon one another to help move, go out to lunch, assist with a project, or just sit down and chat.

There are, of course, exceptions to this. The Jason may ask Peter about something specific that he truly has an interest in, or Peter has something tremendous happen that he's excited about and wants to sharel; and Jason may actually show a genuine interest.

Most of what we call friendships are really just aquaintances, which are even more superficial encounters than the last. We se them often, so we're polite, but things rarely extend far beyond perfunctory salutations and waves.

People exposed to circumstances that require close cooperation and communication don't always form friendships. Sometimes they end up casting themselves towards the other end of the spectrum into relationships that are more adversarial than congenial. That's unfortunate, but the topic of another discussion.